he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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