I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
