I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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