I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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