I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
