Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Panties = found
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
