Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Randomize