I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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