I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
