I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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