Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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