He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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