did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Randomize
