I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Randomize