you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Randomize
