Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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