was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Randomize