hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
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