please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
