yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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