brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
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