C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
