before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
