absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
