hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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