But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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