The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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