Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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