I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
I love having hate sex.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
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