we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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