Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
