i'm signing you up for texting rehab
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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