why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize
