What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
