I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
