how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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