Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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