You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Randomize
