It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Randomize
