Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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