she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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