cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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