Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Randomize
