If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
