i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Randomize
