Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Randomize
