I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I am one with the molecules
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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