I just made out with a guy for $7.
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
