If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Randomize
