Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
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