Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Randomize
