You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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