And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Randomize
