Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
foreskin is a definite game changer
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
