Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
