How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Randomize
