Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
Banned from zoo.
Again?
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
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