I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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