Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
If that was your dad, he is hot
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
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