alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
